Heart ache.

I no longer ache.

Pain and Death.

Today was Brittany's funeral.

and Last night was the viewing.

She was still sooo pretty even after death.

My heart breaks for her step father over and over.

They were extremely close.

He sat next to her casket and rubbed her hair the entire time during the viewing.

The line to see her was SUPER long.

it took as alost 2 hours to get through

When I went up there I took the necklace I was wearing.

and I put it on her chest and layed my hand over her heart her step dad pulled me into a hug and thanked me and we cried together.

Then today way over half of the school left early to be at her funeral.

I barely spoke in my classes that I did attend.

And I cried and cried during the funeral then at the burial.

I cried the most when her (step) dad walked away crying and saying "I love you Brittany. I love you dear Britt" I felt like I might colapse from the heart ache I felt.

I was glad Aimee was there with me.

BRITTANY.

YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

I'm wearing my polka dots in your name.

I'm loving stronger and living fuller.

I'm carrying your loving legacy in my heart.

It wasn't fair that it was you.

But hey, If I was God I would want you back ASAP too.

Who could blame him for wanting such an angel?

March 22, 1991-December 11, 2007

Sadness

Today, Brittany Brendel was killed in a car accident.

I'm so sad it hurts.

I feel bad everytime I smile, even though I know she'd hate for us to be upset.

She''s probably glad she finally got out of this place though.

I miss her.

And I'm angry that it had to be her.

But PSC is helping me a lot.

Those people are amazing.

Dearest Brittany,

You will NOT be forgotten.

I PROMISE.

lovelovelove.

Shelby.

Smiles.

I just realized that the title of my previous entry was 'Christmas Lights'

and I didn't mention Christmas lights at all.

So now that this one isn't about Christmas lights I will say.

I absolutely love Christmas lights.

I would drive for hours and hours every christmas time JUST to see all the lights.

I think they warm my heart more then gifts do.

Especially the houses that you can tell they REALLY put work into them.

and the blue ones are gorgeous too.

:D

But now, back to Smiles which is what this was supposed to be about.

And how smiling is another of my favorite things to do.

and how ksully made me smile soo much commenting this.

And complimenting me on PSC.

:D

Which in itself is another reason to smile.

I did my spanish project tonight.

Even though it was due this morning.

I'm glad shes letting us turn them in late.

:D

lovelovelove.

Christmas Lights.

I had a lovely weekend.

I really missed Matt and the rest of the Bohr family.

But I still had fun at Matty B's.

And I spent my moneys on candy.

I need to buy Hailey a gift for Secret Santa.

anddd my tummy hurts.

Spanish project due tomorrow.

OOPS.

Jack Frost.

So this week has been sucky at some points.

But awesome at others.

My team one Jeapoardy in Spanish on Friday.

We kicked Butt.

lol.

I actually wished it was colder today.

I didn't like the whole 70 degree December day.

Especially since I sat at home doing nothing.

:/

But I'm leaving at any minute to go to Matt's house.

My brother and the rest of the wrestlers did Amazing at their tournament today.

I love those kids. (well most of them)

I'm gonna go.

Matt will be here any minute.

Consistancy

I am the worst at trying to update this thing daily.

But I often times feel like nothing super important goes on in my daily life to be blogged.

Or I just can't remember the important things that DO happen therefor the must not be TOO important.

Tomorrow is my Christmas band concert. (or to be Politicaly correct. HOLIDAY concert)

The girls are wearing these long black dresses and the guys are wearing tuxes.

I hate the dresses and I have to wear heels.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF.

Before the final song I have to get up (in the front row) infront of EVEYRONE. walk past ALL these stands and crap and walk to the back so I can play stupid Bass drum for the last song.

UGH...

I really don't like band most of the time.

But some of the people are my FAVORITES!

But then others I wanna hit in the face.

and I also hate the bus I ride.

I HATE STUPID PEOPLE.

But really, I'm in a good mood considering.

I really wanna know how the guys did tonight in wrestling.

And If anyone reads this

leave me a comment even if its just saying

"Yo I read this"

or

"You suck stop complaining"

I just like to know SOMEONE reads it.

Arizona.

Joey gave me six yellow roses today.

No one has ever given me flowers before.

he gave them to me for Christmas.