Update

I haven't posted in a long time. So here is my update:

I'm trying HARD to completely embrace God's way and stop following mine.

I'm doing this through an AMAZING program: Life Hurts God Heals.

I attend Generations Church which is the most amazing place and I have been able to grow leaps and bounds in my faith.

I am nearly done with High School, graduating on June 13th.

I am attending UNCW in the fall (as long as all my financial aid works out)

Megan Murphy, Kellie Bliss, and Hope Lewis are my closest friends right now.

I turn 18 at the end of this month.

I am a twitter addict. :]

and I just had delicious tacos made by my grandpa and made the BIGGEST mess eating them!

Word.

1 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
3He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40: 1-3 (New Living Translation)




I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
to make sure I wouldn't slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song
a praise-song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
they enter the mystery,
abandoning themselves to God.
Psalm 40: 1-3 (The Message)

RE:Cillian from PSC

She wrote: "To everyone out there, I have a message: NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK, no matter how it seems, someone out there (not necessarily a friend, or even someone you know that well) thinks that you are beautiful. Or that you are nice, or cool. However you want to put it. Even when times are rough, and seem like they'll never get better, you have to know that they will. I know this sounds cheesy, but the night is always darkest before the dawn. Everything will get better. I know from personal experience :] You can get over those roadblocks. Yes you. And you. Just keep moving, because someone, or someoneS, thinks that you are worth living. There is someone who would be heartbroken if you stopped coming to work, school, that coffee shop that you like... So stop cutting. Stop taking drugs. Stop doing whatever is hurting you, because someone cares. You just have to find them. And remember, they may not be the person that you expect."


Now I've never really done anything self destructive, like drugs or cutting or having an eating disorder.
But I think I sometimes I feel things too much.
idk.
I've been told I'm a passionate person
and I like to put all I am into whatever I do.
Be it making someone smile, being angry, or loving some one.
I just think sometimes I put TOO much emotion and maybe too much heart into some of the actions I take.
I don't do things lightly.
I eat big, talk big, and dream big.
I'm also kinda selfish sometimes with my emotions.
and stubborn.
and I guess I'm just human.
But sometimes feeling so much can make me really sad.
Like all the emotions just build up and I feel like crying.
But then I read words like Cillian's, or talk to someone, or just let a few tears fall.
and I'm okay again.
But maybe I'm NOT really okay at all?
Or maybe along with feeling too much, I'm THINKING too much and should just shut up and sleep.
:/

hickory dickory dock. the mouse ran up the clock.

I haven't posted in a while.
and I still wish I could write something amazing.
But the words don't come.
I'm just waiting to go to work.
So I can seat and get drinsk for annoying stuck up people.
I need to find my shoes.

Growing.

I don't think i'm growing up.
But growing out.
Like you grow out of your old clothes and such.
The one thing my life seemed to revolve around for a few months turned out to be a lot of lies.
And last night talking to Ari I definently realized my mistakes.
But I don't think I would trade those months for anything.
I learned so much through that time.
How to love and how not too.
And coming out of that I learned who really cares.
So I may not be growing up, I think in some aspects I'm too mature already.
But I'm definently growing out of being a naive person.
And Once again another lesson showing me not to give my heart.
To people who won't take care of it.