Heart ache.

I no longer ache.

Pain and Death.

Today was Brittany's funeral.

and Last night was the viewing.

She was still sooo pretty even after death.

My heart breaks for her step father over and over.

They were extremely close.

He sat next to her casket and rubbed her hair the entire time during the viewing.

The line to see her was SUPER long.

it took as alost 2 hours to get through

When I went up there I took the necklace I was wearing.

and I put it on her chest and layed my hand over her heart her step dad pulled me into a hug and thanked me and we cried together.

Then today way over half of the school left early to be at her funeral.

I barely spoke in my classes that I did attend.

And I cried and cried during the funeral then at the burial.

I cried the most when her (step) dad walked away crying and saying "I love you Brittany. I love you dear Britt" I felt like I might colapse from the heart ache I felt.

I was glad Aimee was there with me.

BRITTANY.

YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

I'm wearing my polka dots in your name.

I'm loving stronger and living fuller.

I'm carrying your loving legacy in my heart.

It wasn't fair that it was you.

But hey, If I was God I would want you back ASAP too.

Who could blame him for wanting such an angel?

March 22, 1991-December 11, 2007

Sadness

Today, Brittany Brendel was killed in a car accident.

I'm so sad it hurts.

I feel bad everytime I smile, even though I know she'd hate for us to be upset.

She''s probably glad she finally got out of this place though.

I miss her.

And I'm angry that it had to be her.

But PSC is helping me a lot.

Those people are amazing.

Dearest Brittany,

You will NOT be forgotten.

I PROMISE.

lovelovelove.

Shelby.

Smiles.

I just realized that the title of my previous entry was 'Christmas Lights'

and I didn't mention Christmas lights at all.

So now that this one isn't about Christmas lights I will say.

I absolutely love Christmas lights.

I would drive for hours and hours every christmas time JUST to see all the lights.

I think they warm my heart more then gifts do.

Especially the houses that you can tell they REALLY put work into them.

and the blue ones are gorgeous too.

:D

But now, back to Smiles which is what this was supposed to be about.

And how smiling is another of my favorite things to do.

and how ksully made me smile soo much commenting this.

And complimenting me on PSC.

:D

Which in itself is another reason to smile.

I did my spanish project tonight.

Even though it was due this morning.

I'm glad shes letting us turn them in late.

:D

lovelovelove.

Christmas Lights.

I had a lovely weekend.

I really missed Matt and the rest of the Bohr family.

But I still had fun at Matty B's.

And I spent my moneys on candy.

I need to buy Hailey a gift for Secret Santa.

anddd my tummy hurts.

Spanish project due tomorrow.

OOPS.

Jack Frost.

So this week has been sucky at some points.

But awesome at others.

My team one Jeapoardy in Spanish on Friday.

We kicked Butt.

lol.

I actually wished it was colder today.

I didn't like the whole 70 degree December day.

Especially since I sat at home doing nothing.

:/

But I'm leaving at any minute to go to Matt's house.

My brother and the rest of the wrestlers did Amazing at their tournament today.

I love those kids. (well most of them)

I'm gonna go.

Matt will be here any minute.

Consistancy

I am the worst at trying to update this thing daily.

But I often times feel like nothing super important goes on in my daily life to be blogged.

Or I just can't remember the important things that DO happen therefor the must not be TOO important.

Tomorrow is my Christmas band concert. (or to be Politicaly correct. HOLIDAY concert)

The girls are wearing these long black dresses and the guys are wearing tuxes.

I hate the dresses and I have to wear heels.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF.

Before the final song I have to get up (in the front row) infront of EVEYRONE. walk past ALL these stands and crap and walk to the back so I can play stupid Bass drum for the last song.

UGH...

I really don't like band most of the time.

But some of the people are my FAVORITES!

But then others I wanna hit in the face.

and I also hate the bus I ride.

I HATE STUPID PEOPLE.

But really, I'm in a good mood considering.

I really wanna know how the guys did tonight in wrestling.

And If anyone reads this

leave me a comment even if its just saying

"Yo I read this"

or

"You suck stop complaining"

I just like to know SOMEONE reads it.

Arizona.

Joey gave me six yellow roses today.

No one has ever given me flowers before.

he gave them to me for Christmas.

Tingles.

I had an amazing afternoon.

I'm tingling from head to toe.

I love this feeling of bliss.

Happiness.

My week has been good.

Ate TONS of food.

Chilled with Coco Aimee and Robbie.
then went to an Indie Kid party.

Funny stuff man.

Now I'm going to sleep.

I got my 'Sweet dreams Beautiful'

So I'm good.

:D

So far away.

BUBBLY.

By Colbie Caillat.

I've been awake for a while now

You make me feel like a child now

'Cause every time I see your bubbly face

I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes

Makes me crinkle my nose

Wherever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane

But we are hiding in a safer place

Under covers staying safe and warm

You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes

Make me crinkle my nose

Wherever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Wherever you go

What am I going to say

When you make me feel this way

I just mmmmm

It starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now

You tuck me in just like a child now

'Cause every time you hold me in your arms

I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it starts in my soul

And I lose all control

When you kiss my nose

The feeling shows

'cause you make me smile baby

Just take your time now

Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go

Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go

I always know

'Cause you make me smile

Even just for a while

Feliz Navidad.

For Christmas I want:

Red Sparkly Flats. (dorothy shoes)

Highlights.

Gilmore Girls DVD collection.

Digital Camera.

Colbie Caillat's CD Coco.

Excitement

Sooo in just seven days I'll be going to Shelby, NC.

(without a stupid camera)

But I'm SOOO completely excited about going.

I miss all my friends there.

and cannot WAIT for all the closeness with God I know is gonna come from it.

And in December we're(the band) going to DISNEYWORLD!!!!!!!!

I have NEVER been and ALWAYS wanted to go.

And I just can't WAIT!!!

I really wish I could get a new camera though.

Atleast by time we go to Disney.

That would be SOO amazing!

<3333

Feeling better already.

My Grandmas feeling better.

I've had cookies.

and a Really good day at school.

Church tomorrow is gonna be great.

I miss Matty B like WOAH man!!

Idk if anyone reads this.

But if you do leave me comments or something to let me know.

kay??

I also got my shoes back today.

and I'm still a beast at Bass Clarinet.

But my lips hurts way faster then they used too.

It has been like 9 months sooo its understandable.

:D

lovelovelove.

shelbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

In a rut

So I'm kinda in a sucky mood.

That I fear won't be getting better anytime soon.

This week is gonna be boring and work is gonna suck.

Only thing I'm excited about is going to Shelby, NC in 10 days.

I miss everyone I never get to see.

I hate riding that stupid bus.

Time is going by sooo slowly.

I freaking hate daylight savings time.

I'm going to eat dinner.

I need someone to make me smile today.

Teacher Workday.

So we have no school today.

Which is pretty awesome.

I have to clean my room though and its a CRAZY mess.

But my grandmas coming home, I'm worried about her.

and also kinda afraid to see how bad she looks.

She fell off her horse this weekend up in the moutains, she has 4 cracked ribs, lacerations to her kidney and lung, and tons of other cuts and bruises and I know when I see her I'm gonna have to try really hard not to burst into tears.

Joan is bringing her home, they'll be here around 5 ish. Donna Monday brought us dinner, shes the sweetest woman ever I swear. She wanted ot go to the grocery store for us and whatever else we needed. (My grandpa isn't supposed to drive but he did anyway) But DOnna is taking my brother to and form Wrestling practice. She is just such an amazing and caring person. I'm glad my grandma has her as a friend.

Well I should go clean my room.

Grandpa is gonna start complaining about it again pretty soon.

With love (and worry)

Shelby.

<3

Fell Behind.

Its been WAAAY too long since I've posted.

Since my last post;

I've gotten a job.

Started my junior year.

Marching Band season began and ended.

My grandpa had two surgeries. (one last week)

My grandma got two horses. (shes in the hospital now)

My uncles have visited.

I've laughed too much.

Smiled every day

and Cried some too.

I've lost old friends.

But gained new ones.

I'm not very happy right now.

But I'm living life.

And love it too.

Philadelphia

So my week in Philly was crazy AMAZING. Never in my life have I felt GOd so much. He was always present guiding us and keeping us strong. Everyone who went on the trip has much stronger faith and is closer to God. We're all pumped full of Joy and Happiness.

We're on fire and ready to share Christ's love with our County and the rest of the World. We all learned about ourselves and each other and cried quite a bit. Josh was so drained he couldn't cry anymore! lol. We all miss Philly a bunch and I know everyone wants to go back NOW! haha.

The only bad thing was everyone getting sick (I didn't thankgoodness!) but almost eveyrone got sick. Matt ended up having a kidney stone, but hes okay now. We were all pretty scared for Matt at one point. But we prayed and he made it.

Tomorrow is church. I miss everyone even though its only been a couple of days. I can't wait to go. Also I've become closer to my brother, which is awesome because I really do love him a lot. We argue a lot sometimes and get on each other's nerves. But now we're on good terms and I love that!

I took soo many pictures. I'm far too lazy to post them. You can just go to my myspace and look at them. teehee.

Much love to everyone.

-Shelbymarie.

Pictures From Philly practice and truck.

I lovelovelove this one.

My favorite crazies.
Hailey was killing my mints. [:

"No, it can't be a smurf. It has to be like this"

Matt describing the trip, Tippet playing guitar!

Sisters.

Turn off the lights, And We Glow.

"How'd this cow get on the floor?"..."It fell off my head."

He's been my best friend since Freshmen year.

Alex really knows how to ride that pony.

Amazing Day

I had such a wonderful day. I was laughing and around the most amazing people all day. I took lots of pictures and roade all over BSL and Winnabow in the back of the truck with all my sweeties and the wind aking my hair wild.

I bought candy and boiled peanuts. and smiled and laughed and made funny faces.

and even though Josh was mean a bit it was still fun.

and i have total blackmail pictures of him. riding a pony. licking his nipple.

ohitwasgreat.

---

Shelbysweetface.

the happy kid.

Random Photography.

None of these are me.(duh) I just LOVE them.

Might post some of me one of these days.

-ShelbySweetFace

Happy kid.

So today (though I should be at The Social's show right now dancing and having fun) was good. I got to see Josh again. (Thats two days in a row tomorrow will make it three!! haha) And I also got to see Matty B. who I was missing like CRAZY.

Tomorrow is all day practice which I am sooo unbelievably happy about. I'm so tired of doing NOTHING at all. And I just REALLY want to get out of the house, SOSOSOSO bad.
Aimee's fish are doing good, my Lucy Dawg love watching them. Its so funny.

Tomorrow I'm prolly gonna take pictures with the fish. Cuz I'm strange like that. But I look real cute making a fishy face so you know. [:

Thats it. I guess I had a pretty boring and un eventful day (big surprise!)

But THANKS JOSH! for leaving me a comment.

(leaving another one would be fantastic. -hinthint-

-Much love.

Shelbysweetface

Thinking.

So after my crappy night. I ended up not falling asleep until around 5 AM. I had put in Courtknee's mix and started crying (don't ask) and fell asleep. and Actually slept VERY well.

Then I woke up because the phone was ringing and It was Amber and Aimee askign If I can take care of their fish while they're gone to Kentucky. and Of course i said yes. I'm really excited because I have always wanted pet fish and I love watching them [:

I'm VERY VERY glad today i smy last day of being grounded. Tomorrow I get to see everyone at church and practice all day for Philly which is only *counts*

THREE DAYS AWAY. WOW. Thats so awesome. You have no idea.

haha.

Soooo I hope everyone has a blast at The Social's show.

and Conrad dances in my honor.

-Shelbysweetface.

ohyeah. I made these today.

Lalala

Its 2:00 AM. andd I can't sleep.
I have a facebook nowww.
and I'll post the link later.
[:
I had a pretty crappy evening.
But Courtknee made me happy.
and Conrad being all sweet was so cute and made me smile.
Tomorrow is gonna suck A LOT.
Because I can't go to The Social's show.
which I was pretty pissed about.
But I'm not fretting it,
As long as Courtknee does what she said she will. [;
and Conrad dances for me.
[:
and if you're reading this.
Iloveyou
haha.you should leave a comment.
-ShelbySweetFace

Courtney is so sweet.

Mom.

I miss my mom a lot.

I never admit it.

But I really do.

]:

I always wonder why I wasn't good enough

for her to stick around.

PiKaTuReS

These are from a day in southport with Court about 2 or 3 months ago. Maybe longer. haha. But I really like them a LOT. I miss that day with her. It was simple and fun we didn't care about anything but walking around and taking pictures. Court knee is an amazing person. and I want more days like this with her. [:

Musically Speaking.

Soo, my all time favorite band is The Social. [: They're two awesome guys who are really mega super talented. They absolutely rock and you should check them out at www.myspace.com/thesocialrocks or their Tour Journal http://www.lazybonesweblog.blogspot.com/ Seriously they're amazing.

and with any luck I'll be seeing them tomorrow. Gotta convince my grandma to let me off grounding 4 hours early haha. [:

ALSO.
check out Bows and Arrows. I recently fell in love with their music too. [:
www.myspace.com/bowsandarrows They've been on tour with The Social.
So if I'm mega super lucky I'll see them to Saturday night at the showww.

So wish me luck
haha.
[:

-ShelbySweetFace

Woswa.

Soo I was angry in my last post.

Since then I've made up with that person.

and he knows how I felt.

haha

But schools out.

and I have yet to begin my summer.

Being grounded all month you know.

But Sunday.

I'm off lock down.

and CAN'T WAIT TO GET SOME CANDY.

hahaha.

[:

no one ever reads this.

But Courtknee will

cuz I'll make her.

SOOOO.

IFLYSM.

[:

---

Shelbysweetface.

Heck yes!

I'm doing good in school right now! I made a 91 on my Algebra 2 test, 100 on my english and civics quiz I've not missed a homework assignment since the new nine weeks and I'm even ahead of my work in civics.

Tomorrow is church, can't wait! I missed it last week :[ and tomorrow Ms. Dudley comes back, I was getting fed up with all that damn bookwork.

Talking to Court. and other peeps. Listening to Senses Fail, my new favorite band. Comments and such are great!



AND GOOD LUCK COURTNEY DEAR! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!


-Shelbyforsure.

blahdiblah

Today was well normal I guess. Nothin exciting happened. I got a CD from Erik though. I'm going to put it in when I'm done. This has become more like a journal since no one comments. I don't think anyone besides Court and Max have even read it.

I decided last night that this certain guy isn't important to me anymore. His opinion no longer matters, and I'm not gonna act diffrent just to make him happy. :]

I have karate in a few hours. Grandmas ordering me a new Gi (uniform) tonight. YAY. welllll thats all I guess.

-Shelbymarie

Goodmorning

My grandpa is being annoying. Saying I need to pick up my room. Its not messy at all. All that's on my floor is my books for school, which I HAVE to pick up anyway, and I'm not leaving for 40 minutes! Ugh! Well I made brownies again last night, Tomorrow is Justin's birthday but I won't see him so I bringing him one today.

I have the strangest dreams sometimes, but I usually can't remember them, just that they where WEIRD as heck. And I have the weirdest sleep patterns, sometimes I will sleep like a rock and not move from the position I fell asleep in, sometimes My bed will be disheveled some, but other times I'll wake up with NO sheets NO covers, or ANYTHING. Its very weird and I'm always cold when I get up.

But yeah getting that evil eye again. I better go. Comments are nice. :] You don't need an account to leave them. :]

-Shelbymarie.

School.

It wasn't too bad today. 'Cept I have homework, I never have homework. I really don't like my Honors Algebra 2 class. Its bleck. But I got to run into John 3 times today. (Yes I literally mean run into him.) Its our thing. Civics was disturbing cuz Josh P. cut his finger open, I don't do well with blood. Spanish was same as always, finished the work really fast then let everyone copy. I like Spanish a lot though, its so easy. Not looking foward to Broadcasting tomorrow, more bookwork. And Got a reading check for Cumbee. I could read a 500 page GOOD book in a day easily but this one is BORING. Invisible Man. not sure who its by. Should probably know that though. HAHA. But yeah I'm gonna make brownies later. Yummeh right?

-Shelbymarie.

You know

You can leave me a comment. I won't complain or anything. :p I'd actually prefer to know who is reading this thing.I've got school in like 9 minutes, Spring break is now over. :[ oh well. I've got brownies to make it better. I better go. Grandpa's giving me the evil eye.

-Shelbymarie

Finding a long lost friend...

Is like finding a long lost sister or brother. Which happened to me this weekend. My best friend for 7 years from when I was little and lived in Florida found me on myspace. It was completely awesome because I hadn't seen or talked to her in 5 years. In Florida we where the kinda best friends that where like attached at the hip and every other body part. We lived at each others house, her parents where basically mine. We where mistaken for sisters and sometimes even twins. We wore matching clothes sometimes. And finding her was absolutely AMAZING! I'm extremely happy.

-Shelbymarie

Never done this before

So I've never done a blog before. Except like on Xanga and myspace y'know? I'm Shelby Marie. I'm the coolest person you'll ever know. (That's not true, but its nice to think.) I don't know what the point of this truly is but yeah.

-Shelbymarie.